[x]

I'm lyingI'm fucking fine.
Just dandy my dear.
Though my wrist are torn,
my lips sewed shut,
my heart crumbled on the floor
as I curl up in a tiny corner.

I'm still fine.
I am taking my medicine.
I'm doing what you want.
I am crying myself to sleep at night.

I'm just fine.
I have a smile on my face.
I have my sleeves pulled down.
I am standing here, aren't I?

I'm fine.
Why don't you believe me?
Everything is okay.

How are you today?

Oh, me? I'm just fine.

but I'm lying again.

Dear Momma

Dear Momma

Momma, Momma!
Guess what? It’s Friday, it’s Friday!
I can’t wait to go to school!

Momma, Momma!
Go a little faster! I wanna see go see my friends!
Bye bye Momma! Give me a kiss!
I’ll see you afterschool Momma,
I love you so much.

Hey Julie, hey Marshall!
It’s Friday! It’s Friday!
Christmas is almost here!

Bang!

Teacher, I’m scared,
What’s going on out there?

Bang! Bang!

Oh no! It’s getting closer!

Momma, I don’t think I’ll make it home today.
Your little boy is sorry.
I love you Momma.
I’ll see you in Heaven.

My SkinMy skin represents who I am
who I was
who I wish I could be.
I paint on myself what my head ties up;
the secrets
the dreams
the love
my life.
My story is free on my body for whoever cares to interpret
inky scrawls
cryptic texts
discoloured marks
white lines.
The darkest parts of my mind
displayed for you
to take as you may
judge as you will.
Read my body like a book unfinished
trace my heart and soul with your fingertip,
and determine how this story ends.

suicideShe's trying to breath
gasping for air

A blood hand print stains the walls
To tall for people to climb

She hid from everyone
She smiled on

It all became to much for her
She's finished
The end is near

She's gasping for air
She's not yelling for help

Her arms are cut and torn
No one noticed

She's dead behind her walls
and no one knows

It's to late to care now
So dry your tears

Save YourselfA princess waiting for her prince
A child wanting their parent
A man needing his God

To be saved
That's what everybody wants

To be loved,
To be wanted,
To be desired,
To be saved

Wait, wait, wait...
For that day to come
The day in which we will be saved

What does it mean, to be saved?
Not having to worry?
Having something to live for?

Wouldn't it be nice if somebody gave that to you?

WAKE UP!
It's not going to happen!
We have to save ourselves!

No one can make you want to live
You have to want it for yourself...

What goes on insideShe drives the blade into her skin
It barley scratches
She doesn't bleed
She swallows a bottle of pills
Nothing happens
She has no release
You can't kill
What's already
Dead
Her eyes
She's turning
A monster
Her only humanity
Her anger
Her rage
The plastic skin
Stretched across her
Flesh
Nobody see's
What goes on
Inside

It's not talked about much.It's not talked about much.
Or if it is, it's a joke or something.

It's seen and misconcepted.
But more people than you think do it.

I found out two people who I knew did it.
Also having done it myself.

Self Harm.
Self Injure.

Even the reasons people do it aren't always correct.
Sometimes the reason gets lost with the person themselves as they get tangled up.

It's something I've always supported.
Somethimg I'm awefully hypocritical about...

I Give Up.I give Up.

I'm sick.
I'll go find a hole and die.

I don't know how.
Maybe I'll just rot away.

I need to just get away from my brain.

My suffocating thoughts and problems.

Maybe if I run away?

I rely on people too much.
I wish I didn't.
Because, I owe them more than the pain I could give them.

Silence and LonelinessI am so desperate
So disconnected
I'm not in this world
Or any other world I have ever known
I'm stuck inside
My dark and twisted mind
And I realize how merciless
Loneliness can be

But who is there to talk to?
I just talk to myself
inside my head
My mind is always telling me
Take the easy way out
And my dreams arent worth it
And I am worthless
That is what I fight every single day

I feel so desperate
I am so disconnected
I have retreated inside
My twisted mind
And I realize how worthless I am
and I realize how friendly
Silence can be

But sometimes with silence
It doesnt bring you peace
it brings back every painful memory

So desperate
A

Eye's are deceivingLook into my eyes...
Tell me what do you see?
A little girl, happy as can be?
Or a girl crying in the corner wanting to be free?
Can you see my smile?
Can you tell it's fake?
its a perfect mask to hide my crying face.

Repent Your Mistakes, Though I'm A DemonAs I bring this needle to my finger tip,
will I even feel the pain?
If I get a knife and pierce my leg,
will I even bleed red blood?
And if cut my hair with scissor,
will I not be bewitched again?
Or if I burn my hands in a fire,
will my sins finally be atoned?
As I bring this gun to my head,
I scream.
As the people stare at me.
Even if I die,
it's worth it.
Repent.
Learn your mistakes.
As I pull the trigger,
you smile.
As I stare straight into you glare.
Even if you survive,
it's worth it.
Repent.
Learn your mistakes.
As I run away,
will I even escape?
If I try to speak,
will someone hear me?
Or if I cry,
will someone hold me?
And if I fall,
will someone try to catch me?
As I bring this gun to my head,
I scream.
As the people stare at me.
Even if I die,
it's worth it.
Repent.
Learn your mistakes.
As I pull the trigger,
you smile.
As I stare straight into you glare.
Even if you survive,
it's worth it.
Repent.
Learn your mistakes.
Repent.
Your sins; unbearable.
You who brought my tears.

I don't like feeling this way... :/I don't like feeling this way.
Broken and tore down all goes the same way.
You wonder if the pain goes away
wondering if you'll be the same.

Angry, hurt and stressed
but still I will try my best.
Even though this pain runs deep
When I feel hurt I cry and weep.

Watching the clock go by
when I just sit here wondering "why?"
Why did this happen to me?
What did I do that this caused it to be?

TwistEveryone's story has a twist
Showered with goods in a mist
Every once in awhile something comes along
but at the end you knew it wouldn't last long.

As the days go by you know it wasn't swell
You wish you could change but you know it wont go well.
Her stories are filled with many chapters
and everyone tries to rap there heads around it.

Many people stand on the very first page,
Wishing they could of have there story made.
Just remember this,
Everyone's story has a twist.

Not ForgottenI haven't forgotten.
Perhaps I never will.
The way I slid down the wall,
the tears that fell with me.

It wasn't your time to go.
I don't think I'll ever understand
The pain you felt, the pain you caused,
what pain even is.

Their smiles have returned,
they act as if it's just a memory.
Sometimes my eyes sting
with the tears of your singing.

I never knew,
I wish I had..

All We Need Is HopeSo I wake up, to a new day
I should appreciate
But I don't
The air, so fresh and cold
Seems to poison me
With each breath I draw in
I seem to swallow bitter pills
And I choke on all my pride
I should slow down and listen

Just listen to that little voice
That actually matters

Always pay attention to
To all those little miracles
That change your life forever
Just every day you manage to survive
Be happy that you're alive!
You and I
We should slow down
And spend a happy time
Just let this life shine bright!

It doesn't matter, I know it too well
But still we're bothered, still we care
We spit out hate
To the ones who scare us
To those who see

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RIP Sandy Hook Elementary victims

by ~xx5arahxx, Dec 14, 2012, 12:25:46 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Please keep Sandy Hook Elementary in your prayers.

How could they do this?
27 killed, 18 CHILDREN.
How could they take this towns bliss?

The town next to me,
5 minutes from where i was,
A tragic killing spree,
My school in a buzz.

My schools doors locked,
Police surround,
Everyone was shocked
There wasn't a sound.

In just moments the nation knew,
This doesn't feel real,
How could this be true?
It's numbness I feel.

Im shaking,
Im scared,
I can't seem to grasp it...

I sit here in my tears,
Surrounded by fears,
Please keep the adults and children in your prayers. <3 RIP

RIP Sandy Hook Elementary victimsby ~xx5arahxx

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I know I dont write poetry or even write on Deviantart....but this directly effected me...i knew kids there...my teachers cried..my principal made the announcement during my normal Algebra class...

I cant believe this happened 5 minutes away from where I was...it doesnt feel real..

I pray for those families and kids <3

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~kingdomheartsgirl111 Jan 5, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Awww! R.I.P all of those who passed on. Did this happen in America? (sorry uhh I do not live there)

~xx5arahxx Jan 5, 2013 Hobbyist

yeah it did. ):

=PookyBunnies Dec 16, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

A family that used to live in our neighborhood went there. 3 of the 5 kids they had went to that school and were there when it happened. Non of them died, luckily. I'm still worried for their sanity, though.

~xx5arahxx Dec 16, 2012 Hobbyist

the poor kids are gunna remember it always, as well as the community. thank god that family is ok

=PookyBunnies Dec 17, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

I guess that's all that matters that they're safe.

~xx5arahxx Dec 19, 2012 Hobbyist

yes <3
but i did lose one angel. RIP<3

=PookyBunnies Dec 20, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

I'm so sorry. All I can do is keep the families and children in my prayers <3

~xx5arahxx Dec 30, 2012 Hobbyist

thanks <3 (:

~KyleWaeltz Dec 15, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

we had an intruder drill a few days before this.... never thought much of it. everyone was talking the whole time, and the teacher yelled at us. then this happened...man, if that happened at my school, i'd probably be dead now. i'm definitely gonna take those drills more seriously now... *goes to cry in corner*

~xx5arahxx Dec 16, 2012 Hobbyist

im for sure going to respect my teachers and such so much more after this, and pay attention during drills. ):

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RIP Sandy Hook Elementary victims

RIP Sandy Hook Elementary victimsby ~xx5arahxx

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